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Campaign to
end Junkface

Fig 1. Face & Junk Bar soap co-mingling

Neutrogena Men Face Wash

Mission Statement

Our mission is to end Junkface once and for all. For all. As in everybody. That’s all of us. Combined and separately. Let’s kick Junkface in the groin. And let’s stop washing our face and junk with the same thing.

Watch This:
If you click this button a video will play. We promise.
Junkface 101:

72% of Canadian guys surveyed have Junkface Ipsos Reid 2014

Province with the highest rate of Junkface:

Alberta: 86% Ipsos Reid 2014

Current Junkface threat level:

  • Violent
  • Severe
  • High
  • Elevated

Other things that shouldn't come into contact with your junk:

  • Knee
  • Owl
  • Football

by facial hair

  • Moustache
  • Goatee
  • Mutton Chops
  • Chinstrap
  • Beard
  • Soul Patch
Not prevalent

Historical figures we can reasonably assume had Junkface:

  1. Genghis Khan
  2. Nostradamus
  3. Michelangelo's David
  4. King Arthur
  5. Plato
  6. Abe Lincoln

Fictional characters we can reasonably assume had Junkface:

  1. Tarzan
  2. Friar Tuck
  3. Hercules
  4. The Phantom of the Opera
  5. Shakespeare
  6. Quasimodo

38% of women would consider not marrying a guy with Junkface Ipsos Reid 2014

Sports where you’ll encounter Junkface:

Bounty hunters and Junkface:

The Five Stages of Junkface:

  1. Denial
  2. Confusion
  3. Denial
  4. Negotiation
  5. Denial
The Cure:
STEP 2: Go here.

If you're driving remember to always check your blind spots. If you're walking remember one foot in front of the other.

STEP 3: Get this.

Specially designed for a man’s face Invigorating Face Wash is a foaming gel cleanser with a cooling lather that works down to your dirtiest pores and leaves your skin looking great. In short, it works. In slightly longer, it works great and it’s a great way to end Junkface.

STEP 4: Use it here.
STEP 5: Not here.
STEP 6: Try this too.

Continuing with the theme of greatness, all of these products are also a great way to be great to your face. Also, we’re pretty great at using the word great repeatedly. NEUTROGENA® MEN®. Made for Your Face.


I had a case of full-blown Junkface. It’s a miracle I’m still here today.”

– Donny Brooke

My dad taught me how to ride a bike. I taught my dad how to stop Junkface. You owe me dad.”

– carl lagerphelt

Junkface almost ruined my marriage and I wasn’t even engaged yet.”

– dave steeev